| it's been a while... |
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| 11:37pm 03/05/2009 |
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mood:  sleepy
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so I have this problem its name is the Macbook... what I mean by that is that now that my mac is connected to the internet I'm never on my livejournal because its not my hompeage like on the pc...not that i've posted all that much in recent years on there either but at least I looked at it every day... not so much here... anyways
So whats new with me?... I joined a gym... I haven't been in over a week but I've been very sick and coughing does not go hand in hand with cardio... so far so good... I go with my friend val... we scare the people that work there... its awesome... I've already lost 3 pounds... my goal is 25ish...
Dom's home...YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... I tackled that kid when I saw him 2 week ago... it was nice... we went and saw 311 at the House of Blues a few days later... that was when I got sick... I blame Myrtle Beach burning down for my sinus infection... that was weird trip though... I was the only civilian and one of 2 girls out of a party of 8... the other girl was this very cool chick named Wendy who is the wife of one of Dom's buddies... she has also been a marine though...it was fun though... it was just good to hang out with Dom... I missed him terribly...
I'm still talking to the boy in Ohio... or Eric as is his real name....we're playing scrabble on facebook... I'm kicking his ass...again... this is game #3... I'm not trying to beat him, its just happening... anyways, we've now moved up to texting and someday we'll be in the same room again... one day... hopefully soon... |
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| ::giggles:: |
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| 01:57am 30/03/2009 |
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mood:  giggly
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so I talk to the boy from Ohio everyday....yeah... I like that dude way more than I should... But he likes me too so I guess its ok... its been a long time since I felt this way about someone so its nice to be wanted...even if it is from a distance... stupid distance... hopefully not for too long though... I guess thats why someone invented planes, trains, automobiles, phones, internet, myspace, facebook, the mail system, smoke signals, morse code, braille, and naval flags... One day in the very near future I will see him again... I just need to figure out when that day will be...being poor sucks... but i will see him soon so theres hope... plans really are in the works!! YAY!!! |
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| So it's been a while... |
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| 05:33pm 26/02/2009 |
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mood:  excited
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yeah so because I keep forgetting to update(and I really don't know why that is) I finally got around to updating... where to begin... DOM IS COMING HOME NEXT WEEK... YAY... no more aghanistan... I'm stoked... I miss my friend...My macbook is online which I'm super stoked about... My Dell desktop has finally died so I figured it was time to hook up my airport(again) and go to town with the awesome computer... oh I got my annual review at work... good news good news... yay for doing my job... crazy idea...
And in other news I met a boy... again... sort of... We met over 2 years ago at Firebelly's... it was a good night... hes smart and funny and cute as a button... the night ended on a rather crazy note that I'm pretty sure I blogged about when it happened and I never saw him again... flash to 2 weeks ago... I was flipping through my journal... my one in the real world... and I came across the page with his name on it so I thought what the hell I wonder if hes on myspace... found him... we've been talking every day since... hes out of the marine corp and living back at home for the moment(Cincinnati).. I think he's taking a mental health holiday of a few months...and he plans to go to UNCW in the fall...plus hes gonna be in town for St. Patty's and we're def gonna hang out... yeah.. so let's see where this rabbit hole leads... |
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| A Side Stepping has come to be a Brilliant Dance... |
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| 01:17am 28/01/2009 |
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mood:  sad
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So i just finished reading Wuthering Heights, which for some reason I never got around to reading before, and I can honestly say I never cried more reading before. Harry Potter doesn't count. Thats not the point of this post. Aunt Nan died 8 years go today. I didn't even realize it until just now and 8 years later its still not any easier. Today sucks. Work should be fun later. I don't why this is hitting me so hard right now. I blame the book. That, and I still miss my aunt terribly. if anyting time makes it worse. In 8 years my aunt has missed her son's wedding and her first grandson. I mean they're both happy occasions but underneath there is always the feeling, and its not just me that feels this way, that Nan should be here. Stupid book. |
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| Horoscopes.... |
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| 03:22pm 15/11/2008 |
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mood:  apathetic
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So this is my myspace horoscope for today:
You could feel as if you have run out of time, yet there are still so many things you haven't done yet. But this isn't about endings; it's about starting whatever comes next. Stop looking back into the past; you can't change it now. Instead, turn around and take notice of what's ahead on the path of life. Here's where your work begins.
hopefully it will ring true.... |
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| So... |
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| 01:46am 15/11/2008 |
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mood:  pensive
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I'm an asshole... no idea...no idea... I have no idea why I bother... I should just except my fate... yeah... this bothers me way more then it should... but I should have learned a long time ago not to get my hopes up... boys are dumb... seriously...I thought he might be different... for once... never mind... I just feel really stupid right now...yeah...I want to believe that it would be different but I'm not so naive... so there you go... alone... story of my life... I should join a nunnery...I'm just sad... and a little drunk... so I'm doubly pathetic right now... what is wrong with me? I shouldn't have thought that...it just makes me sadder because then I think about other things that should be left well enough alone... stupid... |
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| Correction.... |
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| 04:35pm 09/11/2008 |
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mood:  chipper
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I must negate my previous statement... Apparently I am the good guys type...lets see where this rabbit hole leads.... |
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| Matt.... |
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| 10:06am 08/11/2008 |
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mood:  frustrated
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He walked me to my car last night... WTF?... I hate good guys... I'm never their type.... |
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| Oh Canada!!! |
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| 10:44am 29/10/2008 |
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mood: tired
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So Sunday night my boys from Canada came to town... I love The Flatliners... they're just such good dudes... it was fun night... we had a laundry party i.e. we drank beer and they did laundry because they spent like a month on tour with NOFX and don't get to go home for another 2 weeks...Maaike was there... that was exciting... she ignored me and natalie the whole time... way to be an adult there Maaaike... but yeah the show was awesome... I love watching those boys play... they really are going to rule the world one day... and then it was all over... they loaded out and I got some very excellent hugs... I missed them before I even got to my car... why does Canada have to be so far away? Stupid... anyway...
Monday I was called into to work and not 5 minutes into my shift I get this phone call from a dude.... he is having a Halloween party and needed a costume and wanted to know if we sold any... of curse we do so I rattled off the guys costumes... then he asked what kind of girl costumes we had and if we had stuff to wear under them and if it was possible to try them on...I have never laughed harder after hanging up the phone in my life... Gotta love Halloween... |
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| on this day in 1983... |
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| 12:05am 11/06/2008 |
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mood: disappointed
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I was born... 25 years later here I am...sitting at home trying not to think too much about tomorrow... I say this only because when I get my hopes up for a good birthday it turns to shit in very real and bad ways... so as is my usual tradition I try desperately to forget so I won't be disappointed... Dominic, who apparently is my new bestest text messaging buddy, comes back from wherever it is he is on thursday, and we have plans to hang out either friday or saturday night... always fun with him so thats something to look forward to... and me and sharon are going to the liquid room thursday to celebrate because although I would rather forget my birthday she takes birthday's very seriously... plus since we've been friends she has never let me down on the birthday front... so yeah...
Since it is my 25th birthday and 25 is my favorite number i thought it would be fun to run down the list of things I haven't accomplished up to this point... especially since 25 was always going to be my year... so yeah... the list of things I was supposed to do by 25: graduate college, graduate law school, have an apartment, have a cat, live in europe, be in some sort of serious relationship, get married my 25th year, have a new car, have a career, live in new york city, have full sleeves, become a rhodes scholar, go to asia, go to africa,go to australia, learn to scuba( I can't actually... my ears don't equalize), intern at knoedler, lose 25 pounds, have blue hair, pierce my nose, make money, go to art school, live on a beach...anywhere, move from wilmington, and lastly, not remember a stupid list of things I never did up to now... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! |
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| Riddle Me This... |
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| 10:40pm 05/06/2008 |
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mood: giggly
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Riddle Me That... what the hell? Scott is out of the brig and the marine corp (WOOHOO)... Dominic is currently talking to me like we're bestest friends...how is that in a matter of a day no boys talk to me... then I have 2 very gorgeous men talking to me? what the hell? I give up... is there something in the water? I don't get it... |
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| Really not doing well... |
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| 12:55am 23/05/2008 |
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mood: depressed
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So its 1am and yet again I'm completely incapable of going to sleep... this has been going on for days now... I've been home alone all week... mom's dog sitting on island and so i've been left at home with nothing but my thoughts for the last few days which is never good... never good... I had a few days off and unfortunately it gave me time to think about a lot of things which is never good... It just hit me that I'm 25 in something like 19 days and I have nothing to show for my life so far... yeah I have awesome friends but thats it... no college.. no real job... just debt... I've never been in a relationship longer than 5 months and that was over 4 years ago... I want so desperately to leave but to go where? I can't go back to Rockland...I can't... I can't move to Wilmington because I don't want to stay in Wilmington... I don't know where else I would go but I have to go somewhere... I just feel so stuck... tonight i had a meltdown and just started crying wanting desperately to call someone but like i said its 1 am and most of my friends have real jobs so I wouldn't want to burden them this late... Dan is in Florida on vacation so he's no help... I've started talking to Chris again but I haven't spoken to him in like a week and I don't want to call just to cry at him... I don't think chris has ever seen me cry... most people haven't... I try not to make a habit of it... I consider crying a weakness... always have... I know he would listen but I can't cry in front of him... I can't... so here I am blogging because I have no where else to turn... I just don't know what to do... I know I'm not a little kid anymore but I'm definitely not an adult either... clearly...My mom always said that we stanton's take the hard road or no road at all and I feel like I'm not even on a road... I'm not even on a footpath... I feel like i'm on some never ending treadmill that just keeps going and I don't know how to make it stop... I hate being alone... this is why i can't live by myself... I have a breakdown after a week... I just wish i could catch a break... something... anything... I'm grasping at broken straws right now...I don't know what to do... |
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| 01:50pm 26/04/2008 |
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I got tickets to Equus in september... fuck yeah!!! |
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| Yeah So That Happened... |
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| 01:22am 13/04/2008 |
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mood: tired
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So today at work Bash came in to make an exchange... yeah... that bash... the guy who def made my 22nd birthday memorable... it was tense... we had a very strange and short conversation in which I almost started to think he wasn't such a bad guy... and then I remembered hes a total douche bag... fun good times at the mall... I need to get the hell out of wilmington... |
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| january 28th... |
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| 10:25pm 28/01/2008 |
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mood: melancholy
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Aunt nan died 7 years ago... yeah... |
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| .... |
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| 10:29pm 22/01/2008 |
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mood:  gloomy
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heath ledger died... His death ruined my week... I may not have actually known him but i love his movies and have for over 10 years now... yeah pretty bummed... not gonna cry about it but it still makes me kinda sad... brad renfro dies last week and now heath ledger... what the hell? I swear if something ever happens to christian bale i'm not leaving my room for a couple of days... but yeah heath ledger dying totally sucks... I wonder if his daughter understands? |
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| yeah so... |
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| 09:48pm 06/01/2008 |
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my dad had a heart attack on saturday... hes gonna be ok.... I talked to him earlier... he being released from the hospital on tuesday... |
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| the saga continues... again... |
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| 05:33pm 27/12/2007 |
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mood: annoyed
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so right now I'm in my grandarents living room being blasted out of the tiny space by the volume on my grandfather's tv...wow are they deaf... so far so good on the trip... Spent christmas eve with bobby and his girlfriend danny which was great... haven't seen them in 2 years... christmas day I went to nj with grandma kay to my aunt debbie and uncle jimmies... who was there? JOE!!!!! I haven't seen Joe since grandmas 80th birthday 2 years ago and before that it was his wedding the year before... it was awesome... it was so good to see him again...yay for joe... the downside to the week is i have a cold but its not so bad... tomorrow Im meeting my dad in the city so that should be fun... yay for being home! oh yeah and david is an asshole... but we knew that... |
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| Here We Go Again... |
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| 08:28pm 09/12/2007 |
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mood: contemplative
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So today I decided I'm quitting Forever 21, finishing school(finally), and going home for christmas maybe even New Year's... who's hanging out?... yeah tomorrow i'm calling out of work and sending in my resume to employment agencies... yay for having a monday off... that hasn't happened in 5 months...I think after I'm done with all of that I'm gonna go buy some film and take some pictures... I haven't done that in forever... I need to start getting my shit together... i'm 25 in 6 months... yeah...
on a side note: Dan looks like the elephant man at present and the marines that beat him are looking at felony assault charges...he also has to postpone all of his finals this week because tomorrow hes going to get new teeth and is still on some major pain pills... good times... good times |
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| HOLY SHIT!!!!! |
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| 03:06am 08/12/2007 |
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mood:  exhausted
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So I just witnessed Dan lose his 3 front teeth and karen being hit in the face with some dudes shoe... lets start at the beginning... so the three of us left blue post and were walking to our cars when this group of assholes started to ask how much me and karen were... so as we're walking they continue to heckle us as we get to the parking deck at chestnut and front... they continue to heckle us as i cross the street to go to my car and karen starts calling them spics... so whatever they seem to go to their car and i run back to give dan a hug and then i cross the street again only to see 6 dudes come up on dan and karen... one of the guys starts saying shit to dan who hasn't said anything ... he doesn't start shit... one of them grabs karen and dan tells them to get off his sister.. next thing 4 guys are beating the shit of him... knock him clear the fuck out and keep wailing on him in the street... karen gets in on it and one of the guys picks up his shoe and starts hitting her in the head... knocks her to the ground.. and they keep going... at this point a car stops and 5 guys get out, try to pick dan off the street, and get the guys running because at this point there are so many people witnessing this... they leave... karen gets their license and a description of their car... cops are called... cops show up... all the officer can ask is do we want ems to show up... what the hell is ems gonna do? dudes missing his front teeth and has a wicked black eye... so the cop leaves because shes pretty much pointless... karen calls her boyfriend matt so they can get dan to the hospital and save $300 on an ambulance... the first thing this douche asks karen is what is she wearing... seriously? you're girlfriend and her brither were just assaulted and you have the nerve to ask what are you wearing? what the fuck... for the record she and i were both wearing sweaters, jeans, and sneakers... totally whorey in that no kind of way... i'm wearing my fucking brown construction vest for shits sake... so yeah matt came and got them and drove them to the er... I hope dan is ok... fuckin a... fuckin a.... |
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perceptogirl's journal